Angus

Are you tired of ordinary, forgettable livestock? Looking to impress the neighbors with more than just another field ornament? Say hello to our PREMIUM ANGUS COW – the black-tie formal wear of the bovine world!

The Angus isn't just a cow. It's a LIFESTYLE STATEMENT. With its sleek, midnight-black coat that never goes out of style (seriously, it's the little black dress of the pasture), this bovine celebrity will have the other farm animals asking for autographs.

Why choose an Angus cow? Let us count the ways:

• Superior Attitude: Each Angus comes pre-programmed with a slightly judgmental stare that says, "I'm worth more than your car." Perfect for making visiting relatives feel subtly inadequate!
• Grass-to-Gas Efficiency: Our Angus models convert ordinary grass into premium methane with unparalleled efficiency. Your carbon footprint may increase, but you'll do it with CLASS.
• Photo-Ready at All Times: Unlike lesser cows that look awkward in family photos, the Angus naturally poses in what professionals call "the three-quarter profile of superiority."
• Investment Potential: While other assets depreciate, your Angus appreciates in both value and weight! It's basically a 1,500-pound savings account that occasionally moos.

Each Angus cow ships with our exclusive "Moo-ving Up in the World" certificate of authenticity and a complimentary pair of sunglasses for when your cow inevitably becomes too cool for school.